I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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