I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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