help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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