I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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