I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
