I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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