I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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