Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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