i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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