I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
