Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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