Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
