That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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