I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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