Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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