If that was your dad, he is hot
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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