Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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