you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
