you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
