You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
