But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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