This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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