shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We were destined to go to rehab together
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
