Fine. I'll sleep in my office
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
