i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
