I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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