I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
