So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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