i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is wine microwaveable?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
