I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
