I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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