Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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