remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize