They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
