he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
