you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize