Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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