Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize