If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Mom said you looked used
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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