matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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