You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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