I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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