I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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