Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
