while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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