She's JV to your varsity
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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