after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
