So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
