we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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