hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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