Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
