i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
