So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
either way he was missing a nipple.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
