laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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