Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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