people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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